These are some memorable quotes from the Movie Airplane.
Controller: I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He’s a menace to himself and everything else in the air… yes, birds too.
Rumack: I just want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
Elaine Dickinson: There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clerance.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Elaine: It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can’t live with a man I don’t respect.
Hanging Lady: No wonder you’re upset. She’s lovely. And a darling figure… supple, pouting breasts… firm thighs. It’s a shame you two don’t get along.
Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Johnny: Oh, it’s a big pretty white plane with a red stripes, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol.
Joey: I think you’re the greatest, but my dad says you don’t work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don’t even run down court. And that you don’t really try… except during the playoffs.
Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
Randy: There’s been a little problem in the cockpit.
Ted: The cockpit? What is it?
Randy: It’s a little room in the front of the plane, where the pilots sit, but that’s not important right now.
Rumack: The survival of everyone on board depends on just one thing: finding someone on board who can not only fly this plane, but who didn’t have fish for dinner.
Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that’s very nice of you, thank you.
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
Ted Striker: It’s a damn good thing he doesn’t know how much I hate his guts.
Elaine Dickinson: It’s a damn good thing you don’t know how much he hates your guts.
If you were looking for actual Airplane quotes, ie, quotes about airplane and flying, here are some:
Before marriage, many couples are very much like people rushing to catch an airplane; once aboard, they turn into passengers. They just sit there.
~Paul Getty
Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.
~Al Gore
If we did not have such a thing as an airplane today, we would probably create something the size of N.A.S.A. to make one.
~Ross Perot
“The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee. ”
Muhammad Ali: “Superman don’t need no seat belt.”
Flight attendant: “Superman don’t need no airplane, either.”
“Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.”
~Unknown Navy Man
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