Alcohol Quotes

Do not let alcohol control your life. Rather, you should control alcohol. I follow a strict rule. Drink one peg or a pint less than you can hold before you make a fool of yourself. I for one don’t enjoy letting it go to my head. I want to get drunk, but until as long as I am complete control. Here goes some funny Alcohols quotes for you.

If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.
~Author unknown

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend.
~Gerard Way

Draft beer, not people.
~Author Unknown

I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
~John Marcellus Huston

Wine gives a man nothing… it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
~Samuel Johnson

Alcohol is barren. The words a man speaks in the night of drunkenness fade like the darkness itself at the coming of day.
~Marguerite Duras

Water is the only drink for a wise man.
~Henry David Thoreau

Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
~Ogden Nash.. One of my favorite Funny Alcohol quotes..

The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.
~Author Unknown

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
~Bertrand Russell

First the man takes a drink; then the drink takes a drink; then the drink takes the man.
~Japanese Proverb

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~Winston Churchill

I drink to forget I drink.
~Joe E. Lewis

The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
~Norman Brenner

It pays to get drunk with the best people.
~Joe E. Lewis

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
~Bob Marley

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
~Author Unknown

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
~Brendan Behan

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
~Hunter S. Thompson

I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
~Brendan Behan

You don’t have to be a beer drinker to play darts, but it helps.
~Author Unknown

Wine is bottled poetry.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
~Frank Sinatra

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
~Ernest Hemingway

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.
~Seneca

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
~Author unknown

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!
~William Shakespeare

Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
~Raymond Chandler

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
~W.C. Fields

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.
~Raymond Chandler

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
~William Butler Yeats

If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.
~Joseph Schenck

One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
~Lady Astor

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
~Dan Castellaneta

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
~Samuel Johnson

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much. Then again, don’t drink too little.
~Herman

Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside.
~Author Unknown