You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
I love to go to Washington — if only to be near my money.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
I don’t bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard … I sell.
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Don’t tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.
They’ll always be an England, even if it’s in Hollywood.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction.
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I’ll do it.
Your ignorance cramps my conversation
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.