Groucho Marx Quotes and Sayings

Here are some funny quotes by Groucho Marx. He never failed to deliver a good laugh and this is our feeble attempt to remind you that you always have time for a good laugh, or a smile.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.
~This is Classic Groucho Marx. My favorite quote.

Go and never darken my towels again.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

What is favorite Groucho Marx Quote?

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