P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

This is my favorite P J O Rourke Quote.. AT His Very Best
“I Agree With Me”

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.

The weirder you are going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

There’s something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ”learning experience.” Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ”learning experience.” It makes me feel less stupid.

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
~Funny Sarcasm Quote by P. J. O’Rourke

There’s one more terrifying fact about old people: I’m going to be one soon.

Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Never fight an inanimate object.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system.

Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
~ P J O Rourke on Government

I’m a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn’t stick your nose in other people’s business except to make a buck.
~ P.J. O’Rourke

Another Dig on Government:
Giving government money and power is like giving car keys and whiskey to a teenage boy.

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

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